Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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