did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hippo gnu deer
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
