how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
