C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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