Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
