new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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