OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
