I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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