see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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