She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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