he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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