she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm bleeding and have questions
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
