I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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