Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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