I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize