This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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