i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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