"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
40s are totally the cure
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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