would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
