I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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