haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
