I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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