I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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