$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
