i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
