Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
