It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
