They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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