Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
