I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize