come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my sisters under your porch take her home
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
BRING THE BAGELS
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
