I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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