u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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