it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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