Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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