Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
