hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
