i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize