I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
