im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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