Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
