So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
