I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we're making bets on your personal life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
