he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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