The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
