That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
