I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize