just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize