Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
