Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
