I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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