I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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