i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
