Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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