I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
