Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
