they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Someone signed my nipple.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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