Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
